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How and Where to Start Coping After the Loss no One Wants to Talk About?

By: Rockii Frausto



Suicide, even the name sounds offensive and can darken any mood in seconds. If you or anyone reading this has been a victim of suicide please know that it is with a heavy heart that I write this blog post, and accept my most deepest condolences for your loss. It is very difficult to even consider the fact that someone we love or loved at some point in our lives took their own life. No one saw it coming right? "They seemed to be happy," its sad to think that someone we saw being happy could take their own life. The reality is that something dark was going on inside that individual, and they were battling every day to live. If any one that is reading this is blaming their selves for the loss of someone who decided to take THEIR own life, please stop! Stop! Stop, right now Stop!


At the memorial service for an ex-boyfriend of mine that committed suicide, I heard the pastor say, " for it was his life, and his life to take." The reality is that if someone decides on taking their own life, it is a self-made decision, and their is absolutely nothing positive out of blaming ourselves for that loss, because, there was literally nothing we could do, specially if that individual was reserved and showed no signs of suicide or depression. Don't blame, accept the loss and move on to mourn. It sounds so easy right? It's not easy at all, but it is plausible, and believe it or not there is help specifically for you. Friends for Survival is a non-profit bereavement outreach organization that help individuals who are grieving a suicide death of a loved one. Friendsforsurvival.org is organized for and by survivors of suicide, they have been offering supportive services since 1983, and as heart breaking as it may sound all their staff and volunteers have been directly impacted by a suicide death of a loved one. Needless to say that they are more than experienced and qualified to help you or anyone going through this stigmatized loss.

Suicide is definitely one of the worst things that can happen to any family. According to Save.org, "Nearly 800,000 people die by suicide in the world each year, which is roughly one death every 40 seconds. Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years. Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide." It is perplexing to find out that someone dies every 40 seconds. A 15 year old is a child, a child that was battling for their own life in silence. Unfortunately it is something that happens, according to kidsdata.org, in the year 2020 54 kids ranging from 5-14 years old took their own life. Tragic! but there is HELP! The pain of loosing a child is hard to fathom, but there are people that have gone through this and are thriving, learning how to forever cope with the loss of a child due to suicide is a journey, and you don't have to take that journey alone, The Society of the Compassionate Friends was born because of two couples that loss their children and they provide hope, comfort, and support to grieving parents after the loss of a child. Compassionatefriends.org provides more information on the chapters that they have in all 50 states.

Knowing the resources available near you can bring hope and support from others that have been in the same situation as you. Support for adults is necessary after a loved one dies by suicide, but what about the kids? A child grieves differently than an adult. Kids often are left feeling lonely and confused with all the different emotions that they feel. There is assistance for kids that have been victimized by suicide of a parent. Save.org provides a lot of tools and resources. One personally that I ran across is Jessica's House, located in Turlock California. Jessicashouse.org has many community like resources for kids.

Suicide can be prevented, there are many things that can be done to prevent suicide, and I feel like Save.org nailed it in their article, "Suicide Prevention is Possible." I will link them right here. I hope that this information helps at least one person, please feel free to share this post with friends and families. There is help out there and all the resources that I provided here are only a few out of like a million that are out there. The point of this post was to get the message across that there is help for individuals grieving a suicide loss.


 

Sources:

compassionatefriends.org

Jessicashouse.org

Friendsforsurvival.org

Save.org

Kidsdata.org


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